I really don’t want to say this, cause I’m afraid it’s true, but ..
I really don’t think you love me, the way you said you truly do, well did. How can I say such a thing, after all we’ve been through? Well think about it, it was always her before me. Even till now you have her on your mind, don’t deny it, we all know. And so I wonder, if I were the one you fell in love with first, if I were the one you met before her would it be different? Would I have been insecure? I don’t think so.
This is so not like me, to express my feelings this way but I guess it relieves me heaps, I’d rather this then have my friends suffer my pain with me, so I act the fool, the clown to turn those frowns around, I may not be able to fool myself,but at least I can try. I don’t want them to think the pain runs deep. Lord knows its killing me. But I put a smile on my face, and when someone asks me, I say everything is okay. But still, everytime I see a message on my phone, I hope that its a text from you. I dont know how much longer I can keep this up, I just hope it gets easier from here.
“And so I go around and just pretend love is not for me, I play the circus clown around my friends make them laugh and they won’t see. That you never let them see you this way, don’t want them to think the pain runs deep. Lord knows it’s killing me & so I put on my make up, put a smile on my face, and if anyone asks me everything is okay. I’m laughing cause no one knows the joke is on me. But I’m dying inside with my pride and a smile on my face.”
- Tamia
